The Golden (Retriever) Candidate A dog in Alaska is trying to break the "alpo ceiling" by becoming a candidate in the gubernatorial race there. I guess the dog-eat-dog world of politics is the perfect place for the canine candidate. Brinkley the golden retriever has, however, been interested in politics since birth and was in fact named for legendary news anchor David Brinkley. I bet no one told Brinkley that there was more to running for office than just going for a run. The campaign's slogan is: "Get off your tail, hit the campaign trail, vote." I guess they decided against "Power to the Puppy." Plans are currently being made for a campaign commercial, but I'm not sure how Brinkley is going to say "This ad was approved by Brinkley." Maybe they'll let that one slide. There's no word on Brinkley's platform, but I assume it involves promises of vet care for all, a crackdown on deadbeat doggie daddies, and of course banning poodle-pug marriage (it's simply unnatural). You know, all the issues that concerned pups out there care about. Brinkley apparently has a decent shot at the governor's mansion, not only because all Alaskans love dogs, but because Brinkley happens to have a name similar to the (human) Republican candidate - John Binkley. Remember the butterfly ballot? This sounds more like the puppy poll to me. Brinkley's campaign manager/owner (no word on that whole dog slavery angle...) says this about the pooch's candidacy: "He might not be able to do as well as (a human), but if he doesn't, can we please run him for President?" Sounds like this is one ambitious pup. Now if only he were the son of a former doggy president, I bet he'd be a shoe in. The only real hitch in Brinkley's candidacy is that pesky Alaska constitution which, while it doesn't explicitly ban dogs, does require the candidate to be at least 30 years old. So unless Brinkley can muster support for a constitutional amendment to allow him to count his age in dog years, he's probably out of luck. (One to allow dogs to vote might work even better...) Oh well. - p.m.graham |